Every day at lunch in high school and all my senior year

Id drink my cup of cola with a touch of Everclear

I never had to study math, science, or history

Id have a chemical flash back to jog my memory

My junior year I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherri Ann

One night I put some Everclear in her Dr. Pepper can

Well I thought itd make her easy

She took it pretty hard

I took her home and rang her doorbell left her lying in the yard

Chorus

Tequila dries me out

Beer just makes me fat

Whiskey makes me nauseas

Now tell me who the hell needs that

So if youre thinking about drinking

Well the answers crystal clear

Its the invisible, intoxicating

Its called Everclear

I remember my church picnic

In the spring of 89

Yeah they had four fresh watermelons

Sliced right off the vine

When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food

Hey I pulled out my bottle and I soaked them melons good

Well they never knew what hit em

When that potion went to work

They had grandmas doing back flips

Grandpas looking up their skirts

They were singing hallelujah and Willie Nelson songs

Preacher said it was the best dang picnic

That the Baptists had ever thrown

Chorus

Tequila dries me out

Beer just makes me fat

Whiskey makes me nauseas

Now tell me who the hell needs that

So if youre thinking about drinking

Well the answers crystal clear

Its the invisible, intoxicating

Its called Everclear

When Im drinking Everclear

I think Im king of this whole world

Im bigger and badder than John Wayne

Cooler than Steve Earl

Until I wake up and Im face down in the hall

Hey Im completely naked for a reason I cant recall

Well Im kinda sorta thinking that maybe I met c